Do you know which parent styles you practice? It is very important that you learn, as a parent, learn the parenthood style you use to raise your children. And why is it so important? Because, knowing that your own parental style may finally have a direct effect on the goal of most parents of lifting children happy, healthy and well adjusted.
Three common parent styles
Three common parent styles are uninvolved, permissive and authoritarian. Most parents enter one of these categories most of the time and many parents will use a combination of these parental styles. But most parents adopt a parental style that uses the majority of time and can share different styles with a spouse or other parent figure in the household.
This parental style is especially explicit. Here, one or both parents do not exercise much (if any) of their child’s behavior, they do not provide much from a lot of positive responses – love, admiration, etc. The negligent parent can have other health problems or behavioral problems such as depression, addiction or myriad of other problems. This parent style, like the others, is often learned behavior.
Permissive parents do few rules, if any, regulate and give most controls and decision-making to their children. Any manufactured rules are not regularly applied and children quickly learn that. Children need clear boundaries for healthy education and permissive parent does not provide borders – they are unaccelated from the idea that their children should be “free”. Most behaviors – good or bad – are accepted.
Permissive parents give their children many choices and do not modify this behavior when the child has shown that he / she is not able to make good choices. Expectations are not defined or communicated to the child.
PERMISSIVE parenting can result from a parent’s lack of willingness to get involved in the education of their children – sometimes these parents feel that they can not be qualified to make decisions for their children and develop in a Parent not influenced. Often, the results of this type of parenting are rejection and neglect and the child will look elsewhere for advice and acceptances. Sometimes when children seek advice and acceptance outside the family, they look like bad influences such as gangs and other adults who will exploit these children.
Authoritious parents can be both demanding and responsive and trying to help their children learn to be responsible for themselves and thinking about the consequences of their behavior – good and bad. The reasonable expectations for the behavior of their children are defined and explain why they expect their children to behave in some way communicated clearly. Warmly and lovingly, the behavior of children is carefully monitored that children follow their parents’ expectations and remain within the preset limits.
The authoritative parent tries to reinforce the good behavior, while promising (and following) with a punishment when expectations are not fulfilled. The rules and behaviors are neither requested nor dictated, and the authoritative parent will try to use the logic and reason for the child to behave in a certain way. For example, if the child tries to pick up the cat through his ears, the parent will use the logic and say to the child who picks up Kitty like this one will hurt the cat.
Choles based on a child’s ability can be offered. I know in my own experience, when my wife was trying to make a girl, my 2 year old daughter, my wife offered “Big Girl” underwear instead of the standard layer if my daughter would use the toilet.